Writer/Mom: A Vlog Seven Years in the Making
I was looking for a file last month when I found an old video blog I’d started in 2009 and then abandoned a week later.
Watching the old footage inspired me.
“I’m trying to build my writers’ platform,” I thought. “Maybe now’s a good time to revisit vlogging.”
“You are insane,” a voice in my head answered. “You have a baby, a toddler and a full-time job. You already have too much going on. Now you want to start a vlog.”
I considered this for a while. I felt the magnetic pull of the idea and tried to push it away. Then I realized:
When you start a creative project—even a creative project that exists on a public, troll-infested forum like YouTube—there are no rules.
Nobody makes you sign a contract that says, “I will publish one vlog each weekday now until eternity or else I will hand in my content creator card and visit the stockades.”
You can skip a day. You can abandon the project for a month and then return. You can try and fail.
“OK,” replied the same voice in my head. “Let’s look at facts: You live in Bumblefuck. You spend eight hours a day in front of a computer. You are not skinny, you can barely dress yourself, and you take exactly zero exotic vacations a year. What are you going to film yourself doing? How is this not a bad idea?”
I considered this for a while, too. My rational brain raises good questions, even though he’s kind of a dick. Then a phrase popped into my head: Writer mom. Or more specifically: Writer/Mom.
This duality rules my life right now.
I am a writer, and I am a mom. I’ve birthed two babies and I’m trying to birth a book. I don’t have enough time for either roles, but I’m making the best of both. It is crazy and chaotic and funny and dark. And if it turns out that nobody gives a shit, then at least I’ll have captured an intimate glimpse into a fleeting moment that I can watch when my children have grown.
Here’s my plan: I can only commit to sporadic videos; maybe once a week at best. My written work will take priority. The vlogs will be short, two to five minutes long, and I’ll try the occasional live video to practice loosening up.
Vlog content will include thoughtful discussions (OK, monologues) about parenthood and the writing process. I’ll share the inspiring things I read and watch. I’ll document my research for The Skeleton Club and the weird places that takes me. The only beautiful footage will be small moments of appreciation for the good things in my life. Everything else will be gritty and real. Temper tantrums, rejection letters, depression and panic attacks—Bring. It. On.
I will start now. If you would like to follow me on this journey, subscribe to my YouTube channel. And stay tuned to this blog, since I’ll be posting videos here as well.
I’ve been taking an online class in AfterEffects so that I can add occasional graphics to the vlog, and I’ve made myself a little opening animation. It’s not much, but it’s a start: