Notes I Typed on My Phone During Meetings
The worst part about the anxiety is that it messes with your perception of reality.
You can't tell if your career is in jeopardy or you're overreacting; if a friend is pissed off at you or just distracted. You know you're not seeing things how they actually are but it's the only point of reference you have. You're hobbled and you know it.
"I haven't died in a long time," the toddler said the other day. "Mommy, when will I die?"
Just typing his words feels like hubris; like tempting fate.
"When you're a hundred and ten," I said.
How to Build a Paper Press, Adapted from Instructions by Arnold E. Grummer
Cut two equal-sized pieces of plywood and glue them together to create a platform. Repeat to create a second platform. Drill holes onto each side of the platform and attach four threaded rods. Climb in between the platforms and reach your arms around the board so you can place a pneumatic jack on top. Apply maximum pressure for a minimum of three days. Feel yourself flattening, your layers mushing together into something small and hardened. After three days, lessen the pressure slowly. Only if you think you deserve it. Once all pressure has dissipated, lift the top of the platform. Find the world unchanged. Go back underneath. It's better in there.
25/365. Photo courtesy of Pixabay and used under a Creative Commons license.