Imaginary Mom Friends & Emotional Support Ducks
I watched a YouTube video series called "Wine Mom" last week.
It featured an ordinary mom sitting on her couch, drinking wine and talking about mom-related things. Shortly after that, I found a similar video series called #IMomSoHard.
I can't stop thinking about these videos. I think, "I wish I had mom friends who would get drunk with me and talk about mom things!"
And then I think: "Wait. Who actually does this? What mom gets time to sit on her couch with a friend and drink wine?"
Is this a thing?
I kind of want this to be a thing. But then I'd feel bad that I'm not also wearing coral lipstick and drinking wine and having funny drunk conversations with my mom friends.
Maybe these women are like, stand-in mom friends for people like me, who drink the (very) occasional glass of wine while standing over the kitchen sink, and whose actual time with mom friends is spent having conversations that never last more than ten seconds before one of us has to stop our toddlers from eating gum off the sidewalk or head-butting babies.
Which brings me to the emotional support duck I read about last week. A FREAKING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT DUCK. Apparently emotional support ducks are a thing now. I mean, his name was Daniel Turducken Stinkerbutt and you can not make something like that up. He flew in a plane. He was very polite and everyone loved him, which is more than I can say for my children.
When I read this, I immediately started plotting how I could get my own emotional support duck. He could follow me to the office and entertain me during conference calls; quack softly from the passenger seat during the rush-hour commute.
Then I remembered I have two small kids I can barely keep track of. Adding a duck to the mix might not be such a great idea.
Maybe I could get a very self-sufficient emotional support duck. One who can fix his own meals, and use the restroom.
Who knows? Maybe I could find an emotional support duck who has a great sense of humor, and enjoys the occasional glass of wine.
That would solve everything.