Hi! I'm Kelly.

As a writer, I've always been interested in family stories. When I heard of a Satanic cult in my family tree, I thought I'd found the story of a lifetime. Read more.

Battle of the Blogs

Battle of the Blogs

I guess you could call it a successful transition. 

The baby woke up every three hours but went back to sleep without much trouble. The first time I had to retrieve his pacifier from underneath the crib. The second and third times he wanted to nurse. I let him, because he's been so sick lately and because I didn't want him to wake the toddler. 

10:28 p.m. 1:00 a.m. 3:59 a.m. I log the timestamps in my head, then spend the rest of the day inspecting them from every angle, looking for an escape hatch. Sleep represents freedom: the freedom to stay up past 10 o' clock without hating myself in the morning, the freedom to think clearly.

"You should try some new themes," my husband says, "other than just complaining about the kids waking up at night." 

I wish I had new themes in me. I'm bored of this topic, too. I thought I'd be able to put it behind me by now. Motherhood is always defying my expectations. 

"Give me a theme," I tell my husband. 

"I'm not the one who had the dumbass idea to write a blog post every day. And stop swearing on there; my mom reads those." 

"I'm putting that in my blog post." 

"You put that in your blog post, and I'm going to start my own blog. I'm going to call it the Skeletor Club, and it's just going to troll your posts." 

I'm just going to start outsourcing this job to my husband from now on. 

23/365

The Valley of Missing Girls

The Valley of Missing Girls

Mundane Parenting Milestones

Mundane Parenting Milestones